Celebrating your child’s successes is like eating an apple that keeps depression away. First, it focuses your mind on someone besides you. Second, it honors your child’s hard work. The success can be a kindergarten picture, spiritual milestone, or a failure that your child was able to turn into a positive learning experience. It can be winning a sporting championship or being a gracious loser; or it can be graduating from kindergarten, elementary, middle school, high school, or college.
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Why religion? Why does religion often get the rap as the cause for violence (Islam), sex abuse (Catholic) and, used to be anyway, greed (Judaism). In today’s paper it was reported that the Boston Marathon bombers were motivated to do the awful deed by their Islamic religion. Of all the research that could have been done as to the background of these two people, the media grabs the one thing that would boost sales and once again put religion in a bad light.
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For you with a depressive or bipolar condition and family, friends, and parish communities, instead of giving up candy, cake, or coffee for Lent try giving up the following:
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“Know that patience is one virtue which gives greatest assurance of our reaching perfection, and, while we must have patience with others, we must also have it with ourselves. Those who aspire to the pure love of God need to be more patient with themselves than with others. We have to endure our own imperfections in order to attain perfection; I say ‘endure patiently’ not ‘love’ or ‘embrace’: humility is nurtured through such endurance. In truth, we have to admit that we are weak creatures who scarcely do anything well; but God, who is infinitely kind, is satisfied with our small achievements…” —St. Francis de Sales
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Exactly one year ago a study was published describing the pro-social effects of certain kinds of gossip. Time Health reported on that study and the link is below. Briefly, pro-social gossip is the kind usually spread by people who want to protect the hearer from potential harm.
The kind of gossip we are most familiar with is the kind that promotes stigma, suspicion, and a weakening of family or community integrity. This is the kind of gossip categorized as sin in religious circles. You can add hypocrisy when a person publically espouses a belief, say that depression is a complex condition, then turns around and says quietly to someone, “If she’d stop being so selfish and volunteer she wouldn’t be depressed.”
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“It’s not fair! I do everything right! I exercise, eat right, even go to therapy! I pray. I felt good. Why do I feel so awful now?”
Similar words are often spoken by people I work with in my counseling practice. This particular person had been on medication for three years with no problems. She had become active in her parish, made friends, and was productive at work. Her family life was happy. Medication had been a miracle that came after a long difficult struggle with depression. Now however she found herself snapping at her children, arguing with her husband, losing her usual efficiency at work, and crying almost every day over the littlest things. The last straw came when she couldn’t hold back the tears at work. That’s when she came to see me.
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“Do not be concerned whether or not you experience any consolation; God wants only our hearts. He placed within our power only the capacity to make a simple act of the will. He considers this alone and the deeds resulting from it. Make as few reflections as possible [in prayer] and live in holy joy in the service of our Sovereign Lord and Master. -St. Louise de Marillac
St. Louise de Marillac’s advice to “make as few reflections as possible” can be terrific advice in all aspects of a life plagued by depressive episodes. How many times have we interpreted a situation in a self-deprecating way, examples being “I’m a failure,” “I’m not good enough,” and “I never do anything right.”
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Most New Year’s resolutions are broken within six weeks. When this happens those who struggle with depression can become deeply discouraged. “Whoa me. I’m incapable, incompetent, worthless, and bad” is the mantra. So, let’s prioritize resolutions in order to minimize discouragement.
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January 4th is the feast day of St. Elizabeth Ann Seton (1774-1821). We often read about her accomplishments as a mother and foundress of the American Sisters of Charity and the American Catholic School System. Less known is that she endured several episodes of depression during her life.
From her own writings and those of her biographers we know that she experienced at least three major episodes. The first occurred as a teenager when she contemplated suicide by overdosing on her physician-father’s opiates (called Laudanum). At the time opiates were used to alleviate pain in the sick and dying. She describes the event in her memoirs……
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